Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Baby Boo-Hoo Blues

The hospital I delivered at organizes a moms' support group once a week and I love it! It's so nice to meet other moms with newborns who are going through the same experiences that I am. Last week there were two really new moms there with week old babies and man, oh man, I felt so bad for them. Both of them had the baby blues something terrible - weepy, sad about everything and nothing, eyes filling with tears in one second flat. And oh, do I ever know what they are going through because I was hit with the baby blues HARD.

Everything was peachy keen for the first week - my parents were visiting which means the dog was walked, the house vacuumed, meals prepared, laundry done, bathrooms cleaned, baby held whenever I wanted a break, etc x a million. Then they went home, M was back at work by this time, and it all went downhill from there.

If I was sitting down nursing and needed something, there was no more, "Mummy, can you bring me ___?" No more dinners ready to be served to my hard-working husband when he walked in the door. Forget about a clean house! Bama's learned how to cross his legs until I'm ready each evening to strap the baby on and take both her and him for a walk. And goodness, forget about blogging - it's impossible to do with only one hand!

Anyway, my point is - I was in for a real shock once my parents left. I had to take care of a baby myself, which wasn't even the worst part! I was homesick and lonely. We live far away from our family and the friends that we have here aren't exactly the baby type. I just imagined myself alone all day, every day, with this unknown creature called little m. I was a basket-case and complete emotional mess. That craziness lasted one week and now everything is good, but seriously... the baby blues are nothing to kid around about. I think I cried more in that one week than the rest of my life combined.

So... at this mom's group.. I just wanted to hug these two new moms, look them in the eyes and tell them things.will.get.better. Yes, they will. Right now it doesn't feel like they will, but the blues will go away (unless they don't and that's a bigger issue) and you will survive!

I've always been a super emotional person and I get homesick on a regular basis after visiting with friends and family (even when I lived so close to them!) so through my pregnancy I was very concerned about how the baby blues would hit me and even wondered if I'd get postpartum depression. So far though, since that one terrible week, life is good, or as good as it can be with a newborn who doesn't like to nap during the day.

So thank you friends, for the emails, the facebook messages, the phone calls, the skype calls, and even the tweets. I have not had the chance to respond to everyone, but just knowing that someone out there is thinking of us made things better and was/is much appreciated!


  1. awww Jilly...I am so glad you got over that week..I know it can be hard but your a strong person and you handled it...and just look at that gorgeous baby..she puts a smile on anyones face...I can't wait to meet her and see you next month when you come home..I just can't wait..

  2. Michelle GrenvilleSeptember 21, 2011 7:36 PM

    Oh Jilly Bean!! Sounds like you have been handling it like a champ! I sent a package out to Maren this week - keep an eye open for it. xo

  3. You are doing great Jill! You are a natural. Seriously you are. Glad to hear things are going good. We should try to skype once a week with the girls, we are starting to get bored around here!

  4. There certainly were no signs of distress during our visit. In fact you seemed very calm and in perfect control. Well, in as much control as nursing on demand allows :) No one can prepare you for it all - the books, the movies, the advice from family - nobody can fully prepare you for the emotional and physical demands on you. But I know firsthand from watching you with Maren, you are doing an exceptional job.

    I am glad you sought out a support group though, cause it all can be very isolating and I know you're not used to that. Its definitely scary being left alone all day to tend for a baby. Having other moms to share with must be very helpful for you and I know you'll be very helpful to them as well.

  5. Oh Jilly, I feel so bad that you went through that week all by yourself. You must have felt so overwhelmed.

    I think you are doing a wonderful job at being a new mom. I know it seems like little M wants to be held a lot by her mommy but by picking her up you make her feel safe and loved. She trusts you to take care of her needs whether it be that she's hungry, needs a diaper change or just wants to be close to her parents and held by her mommy or her daddy. You are building her sense of self worth and also establishing a foundation of trust that will be with her forever. Just remember that little M will only be little for a short time. The dinners for Big M can wait and so can your housework...and even Bama is learning to cope. The most important thing is nurturing and giving little M as much love and attention that you possibly can. I was so glad to see that little M was sharing your and Big M's bed. She must feel so secure there.

    I'm so happy that you went to the support group at the hospital and I know that you will try to held the other new moms out as best you can.

    I am so proud of you!! It is such a joy for myself being your mom to watch you become such a fantastic mommy.

  6. Awww, thanks everyone for your sweet comments!

    @Leah: Baby girl can't wait to meet you either!

    @Michy: You shouldn't have!!

    @Stacey: Thanks for you support Stace and always being there when I need advice! Skyping sounds like a good plan!

    @Marina: Thanks Marina! I'm glad you guys came when you did - I think it really helped me get over the sadness.

    @Marndog: Thanks mother! Good thing Maren's so cute.. one look at her and all is forgiven :)